Things currently in my hand me down green suede purse

Things currently in my hand me down green suede purse with blue jean dye stains on the bottom from the day I wore it in a downpour and I had to walk from the train...

1. A red wallet with satisfying zippers
2. A small pink journal with the following white, loopy cursive on the front: "She just had this way of brightening the day." I use this journal to chart my panic attacks and anxiety episodes
3. A rubber stamp, still in its packaging. It says, "Awesome!" surrounded by stars
4. My Checkbook in a forest green vinyl case, also a Chicago Symphony Orchestra ticket,  one of those things you are supposed to use to balance your account, and a "Perks of Being a Wallflower" movie ticket inside
5. My Planner, complete with small black binder clip pinning back the weeks that have already passed
6. A Squirrel shaped carabiniere key holder with the crappy copy of my CRV key and the keys to go in the front entrance of my apartment. I prefer to go in the front entrance
7. A Christmas card from my 1st grade co-teacher with an old mint wrapper clinging to the front only. Static.
8. A purple pen, the clicky kind
9. An un-opened sample of lubricating eye drops from the eye doctor
10. My Chicago Public Schools ID...that's where I put it
11. An un-opened hand held mirror
12. 2 packets of Emergen-C both "tropical" flavored but from different eras of packaging styles
13. One piece of Orbit peppermint gum
14. Unidentified crumbs
15. One small tub of C.O. Bigelow "Mango Butter Lip Butter"
16. 3 "Fresh Nap" moist towelettes
17. A pair of forest green mittens that are the perfect size for my hands, that were inconveniently hand knit by my ex boyfriend
18. One acorn that I plan to use for wax sealing
19. One Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm
20. One bachelorette party light up ring favor (thought it could be used as a flashlight at some point???)
21. Worn out cards from when US bank took over my local bank chain and issued me new account numbers
22. Free sample of "Energy Sheets" A mix between those mouthwash things that dissolve on your tongue and an energy supplement
23. A mini manilla envelope with my most recent college ID from 2010-2011


Nothing in this bag catches me off gaurd. I dug my hand in each time without looking, but rejected certain objects by feel as I went along. The moist towelettes should precede the items zipped away in the side pockets, the pink journal merited an early spot on the list. Each time my hand brushed the mittens, it moved on to the smooth plastic of the lip balm or the gritty crumbs settled on the bottom. I dug the mittens out from their hiding spot under my bed sometime after Christmas. No other pair fits just like them and the color is the best representation I can find of what I think is my favorite shade of my favorite color. The wool is soft and does not give me a rash like Old Navy sweaters do. I tried several different words before I chose "inconveniently" to describe their origins:  "unfortunately," "revealingly," "embarrassingly," "ironically," "randomly," "unimportantly," "actually," "as a side note," "humorously," "hilariously," "in fact," "as an aside." I mean all of these words and none of them. I remember all of a sudden that I am not supposed to use adverbs when I write, but I am unwilling to note who made my mittens without some sort of protecting disclaimer and to leave out the detail seems dishonest. The mittens were moved to number 17 from 23, revealingly, inconveniently, as a side note, humorously, embarrassingly, ironically, in fact, as an aside, unimportantly, unfortunately, randomly, actually, hilariously.